?

Log in

I get up to some Cra~zy shit.
12 December 2010 @ 02:27 pm
I think I just had my first panic attack. I thought I'd felt it before, but this... this was a whole different beast. It's strange because there wasn't so much 'panic' as much as 'ooh, I really don't feel good.' I got a sinking feeling in my stomach, and everything started to feel fuzzy, like when I passed out for a second when on pain pills after having my wisdom teeth yanked. I got up, and my blood rushed to my head and I stumbled getting to the kitchen while my head got fuzzier and fuzzier, I almost couldn't see the blood was rushing to my head so fast, at last I stumbled to the ground and lay down in the kitchen, the lightheadedness went away almost immediately, I had to convince myself over and over again not to throw up and luckily I didn't, I just burped a few times because I gulped some pepsi down before lying down/falling. And all throughout this my whole body was shaking like mad. Ugh, I'm never going to do what I did before having the panic attack again. I hope.
 
 
I get up to some Cra~zy shit.
09 December 2010 @ 12:21 am
I'm going to be a god-Aunt. My best friend is having a baby and I'm still in shock. Hell SHE'S still in shock. It was her first time... the sperm-donor shithead gave her some shit about 'pulling out'. She was a virgin, and it was not fun for her. I'm worried that the father won't be good for her or the baby. I'm worried that he'll abandon them, or just not be there for them. I'll be there, but I don't know if I'm ready to be a god-Aunt to a baby just yet, and yet, this somehow feels like a new beginning, the birth of someone I will care for BY someone I care IMMENSELY for. I've got to be there for her. Support her. She'll be twenty by the time the baby's born, and I'll be nineteen, the father will be eighteen. He's seventeen now. Shit Shit Shit.
 
 
I get up to some Cra~zy shit.
01 December 2010 @ 11:29 pm
Who was your best childhood friend, and where are they now?


Sam Johnson, was and (as far as I know) still is my best friend. She's in college right now, and thinking about joining the army.
 
 
I get up to some Cra~zy shit.
26 November 2010 @ 06:53 pm
Oh man, I need to be more responsible with Amazon.com, just spent about 400 bucks on transformers products. I am ashamed of myself. Oh well, my christmas present to myself for the next five years. XD

I got Blaster with his cassettes, and Soundwave with HIS cassettes(he was the most expensive one out of the bunch)

And I got beast wars season three and Transformers Cybertron all seven disks.

*Shakes head* and my dad told me to SLOW DOWN on spending.
 
 
I get up to some Cra~zy shit.
So my sister spent the whole dinner badmouthing my best friend's mother, and while the aforementioned mother IS irresponsible, it's not the type of thing I want to spend talking about on a day when we're supposed to be THANKFUL for everything we HAVE. Thank god I finished eating and got to excuse myself because I didn't want to ruin my sister's MOOD. If I did then SHE would be mopey and moody for the rest of dinner and I don't want THAT on my head. Hopefully I can go watch Monsters Vs. Aliens and laugh this bad mood away. :/
 
 
 
I get up to some Cra~zy shit.
13 November 2010 @ 10:02 pm
Now this is surreal. I'm the only one awake in the house at 10:00 at night. NO ONE in my family is asleep before 10:00PM much less my DAD. And look at this now, my DAD is asleep and my SISTER is asleep, and I'm the only one awake right now. I can't express how WEIRD this is. 0-0
 
 
I get up to some Cra~zy shit.
21 September 2010 @ 12:54 pm
A great radio station that plays video game music.

http://www.osugamers.com/

Look to the right and you'll see 'radio' and then click 'listen' and all of this awesome music is yours to listen to!
 
 
I get up to some Cra~zy shit.
07 September 2010 @ 11:33 pm
New goal for while I'm not in school. Write a minimum of 2,000 words a day. 4,000 for extra credit. And I should read the damn drivers manual so I can get my license.
 
 
I get up to some Cra~zy shit.
24 August 2010 @ 08:29 pm
I feel like I've been through some kind of breakthrough. I've been happier these three days than I have been for years. I can actually tell that I am happy. I've either been happy or very hyper, I kinda don't know which. I'm taking more showers (mostly from a lack of anything to do) and I'm being more hygienic then I have been in several years. This all happened after I cut my hair so I might attribute it to that.

Also I'm going through more thought on my sexuality and gender identity so far I've discovered that I'm probably genderqueer, which means I don't have a fixed gender at all. I'm male and female at the same time, or neither. I think I'm leaning visually a little towards male but on the inside and my in my mannerisms I'm a little more female. I suppose you could call me a drag king if you wanted but I'm not sure that label really fits. I just like dressing boyishly and being recognized as a boy sends a thrill throughout my entire body. (a good thrill!)

I'm also more excited and motivated for life than I have been all summer which is pretty damn sweet. I've been dancing around my house and smiling a lot more. This is great, where were you all my life happiness? I missed you.
 
 
I get up to some Cra~zy shit.
23 August 2010 @ 12:29 am
Today was a really good day for me. I got my hair cut really short and I'm loving it! (though I will regret the length during the chilly winter months of which here last FOREVER. I'll just get a cool beanie and wear that! Not like my hair can get really messy anymore anyway! (or look bad in general))

Then we went to a partay at my dad's friends house, which was a lot of fun getting the reactions from all of my dad's friends (and mine too) about my new haircut. I got a lot of questions about what I'm going to do this coming year and honestly, I have no idea. Maybe go to college, maybe hang out at home and write a book definitely get my drivers license. It was all good fun and we had a roast (where we made fun of the birthday woman (all in good fun of course!)